LOS ANGELES, Cali.- Matthew Roberts, now 41, was given up for adoption as a baby. Growing up in Rockford, Ill., he didn't know he was adopted until his sister told him in fifth grade and it shocked him.

Like many adopted children, Matthew embarked on a mission to find his biological parents. He wanted to know, most especially, his father and see if there is any identity of him in what the son has become today.

Matthew, who now lives in Los Angeles, started his search 12 years ago when he contacted the Lutheran Social Services agency that located his mother, Terry, in Wisconsin.

He wrote to her immediately and got back an answer from her confirming she is his mother.

"She said she named me Lawrence Alexander and told me she'd tell me my last name some other time in person," Matthew remembers.

Curious and confused, he pressed his mother for more information until she finally revealed the awful truth in a series of letters. She admitted having been raped by his father in a drug-fueled orgy in 1967.

Matthew, who is the spitting image of his serial killer-father, Charles Manson, is said to have fallen into depression after discovering his identity.

"He's my biological father – I can't help but have some kind of emotional connection. That's the hardest thing of all – feeling love for a monster who raped my mother," Matthew said.

Recommended for you